Series Premieres/Returns - May
Monday, May 25th
8:00 - Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC): I’m sure this will garner huge ratings. After that…
9:00 - Intervention (A&E)
10:00 - Here Come the Newlyweds (ABC) - Yeah, I didn’t realize this was on last season either.
10:00 - Cake Boss (TLC)
Tuesday, May 26th
9:00 - The Apprentice (UK): You’re sacked!
9:00 - Hitched or Ditched (CW): Couples have one week to go from dating to engaged.
10:00 - Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen)
10:00 - The Little Couple (TLC): Sequel to Little People Just Married.
Wednesday, May 27th
8:00 - Wipeout (ABC): Oh, those giant balls!
9:00 - The Goode Family (ABC): The newest animated series by Mike Judge.
9:30 - Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E)
9:30 - Surviving Suburbia (ABC): But, apparently, not surviving the season.
Friday, May 29th
9:00 - What Not to Wear (TLC): Featuring the makeover of former Blossom gal Mayim Bialik.
Saturday, May 30th
10:00 - Pushing Daisies(ABC): Ending on June 13th
Sunday, May 31st
8:00 - Million Dollar Password (CBS): Reege returns!
9:00 - Ice Road Truckers (History)
Series Premieres/Returns - June
Monday, June 1st
8:00 - I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!(NBC): I’m reading this is a “new” series for NBC, but I could swear this was on ABC for awhile in the early 2000s. Anyhoo, they’re going to slot this in four days a week in June. Good luck with that.
Tuesday, June 2nd
10:00 - Paris Hilton My New BFF (MTV): Eh, I’m too tired to make a joke about this.
Thursday, June 4th
9:00 - Burn Notice (USA): New time
10:00 - The Listener(NBC): A paramedic who’s telepathic. Comes to us from our friends to the north (that would be Canada, folks).
10:00 - Royal Pains(USA): For all of the promotion they’ve done for this show, it damn well better be good!
Sunday, June 7th
9:00 - Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E): Why?
9:00 - The Next Food Network Star (Food Network)
10:00 - Army Wives (Lifetime)
10:30 - Denise Richards: It’s Complicated (E!): No, it’s actually boring.
Monday, June 8th
9:00 - The Closer (TNT)
10:00 - Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo)
10:00 - Weeds (Showtime)
10:00 - Raising the Bar (TNT):
10:30 - Nurse Jackie (Showtime): Edie Falco returns to series TV.
Wednesday, June 10th
10:00 - Top Chef Masters (Bravo): This time the competition is against “world renowned” chefs rather than, you know, the guy down the block.
Thursday, June 11th
9:00 She’s Got the Look (TV Land): Remember when TV Land was still watchable?
Sunday, June 14th
9:00 - True Blood (HBO)
Monday, June 15th
9:00 - The Cleaner (A&E)
Tuesday, June 16h
8:00 - Wedding Day (TNT): Reality series where deserving couples receive dream weddings.
9:00 - The First 48 (A&E)
9:00 - Hawthorne(TNT): New medical series starring Jada Pinkett Smith.
10:00 - The Singing Bee (CMT): Now with more Country!
10:00 - Saving Grace (TNT)
Wednesday, June 17th
9:00 - Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBC America)
Saturday, June 20th
10:00 - Eli Stone (ABC): Everyone now — Yea! Ends on July 11th, I believe.
Sunday, June 21st
8:00 - Merlin (NBC)
Monday, June 22nd
8:00 - The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)
9:00 - Make It or Break It (ABC Family): Not a reality show. It’s a scripted show featuring Candice Cameron and Peri Gilpin.
Tuesday, June 23rd
8:00 - The Superstars (ABC): Sort of like Battle of the Network Stars except the celebrities are paired off with professional athletes.
9:00 - America’s Got Talent (NBC): Get ready for five months of over-excited audiences and The Hoff.
10:00 - Primetime (ABC)
Wednesday, June 24th
10:00 - The Real World (MTV)
10:00 - The Philanthropist (NBC)
Thursday, June 25th
10:00 - Penn & Teller: Bullshit (Showtime)
Series Premieres/Returns - July
Wednesday, July 1st
8:00 - Great American Road Trip (NBC)
Friday, July 3rd
8:00 - Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX)
Tuesday, July 7th
8:00 - 10 Things I Hate About you (ABC Family)
9:00 - Blonde Charity Mafia (CW): A docu-series (?) about Washington D.C.’s young, female elite.
10:00 - Warehouse 13 (SciFi): Though, it may be SyFy by then.
Wednesday, July 8th
9:00 - I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC)
9:00 - Ghost Hunters International (SciFi or SyFy)
Friday, July 10th
9:00 - Eureka (SciFi): Or SyFy…not too sure yet.
Wednesday, July 15th
9:00 - Leverage (TNT)
10:00 - Dark Blue(TNT): Dylan McDermott takes a stab at original cable fare.
Saturday, July 18th
10:00 - Dirty Sexy Money (ABC): Ends August 8th
Sunday, July 19th
10:00 - HGTV Design Star (HGTV)
Monday, July 20th
10:00 - Dating in the Dark (ABC): The big budget version of a blind date.
Tuesday, July 21st
8:00 - Hell’s Kitchen (FOX): More verbal abuse by Gordon Ramsay.
8:30 - Ruby & The Rockits(ABC Family): It’s the return of David Cassidy to television! Eeeeeeee!
Tuesday, July 28th
9:00 - More to Love (FOX): a reality-dating program for all of us fat bastards out there.
Wednesday, July 29th
9:00 - The Moment of Truth (FOX): More lives ruined for money.
Series Premieres/Returns - August
Tuesday, August 4th
9:00 - Lincoln Heights (ABC Family)
Sunday, August 9th
8:00 - Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (ABC): The Reege version. Does this man ever sleep?
Wednesday, August 19th
9:00 - Ghost Hunters (SciFi or SyFy)
Thursday, August 20th
10:00 - Project Runway (Lifetime): First year away from Bravo.